Tag: introspective

Aly & AJ

Saturday, 2 December, 2006 at 3:44 pm

Huh, talk about a delayed reaction …

I was listening to Aly & AJ’s song “Not This Year” on their album Acoustic Hearts of Christmas. It just made me really sad and I felt like crying. ^^;; The song is about one Christmas they had after their Grandmother (? I don’t really remember) passed away and they just weren’t in the mood for celebrating.

Then there was that moment at Thanksgiving … weird. I don’t know. I’d just never given it a thought before. I just took it at face value that she isn’t around (in flesh and blood) any more. But now it’s like, oh yeah, she’s not here.

Eh, it’s probably because I’ve been thinking about other sad things, and it all just culminated with that song.

Another song on that CD that I enjoy (don’t get me wrong, I think “Not This Year” is a really good song, maybe perhaps the best song [to me] on the album) is “Let It Snow.” It’s so different! I’ve never heard a version of the song like this one. XD They use bongos and some guitar-ish instrument on it, and it kinda sounds like it’s taking place on a tropical island. And they’re singing about snow. I love it! XD

fallibility of the ‘net

Friday, 24 June, 2005 at 1:32 am

I’m tired, it’s late, so I can’t remember the word I’m thinking of. *blink* I can’t even remember what I’m thinking of. Something … about how it’s always changing. Yeah.

I guess I’m not getting back my old ezboard posts. ;.;

Someone hacked ezboard almost two months ago and everything went down and they spent all this time restoring everything and right now they say if your posts haven’t come back by now you’re not going to get them back and guess what? I’m really lame for being sad because of some bits (bytes?) lost in the internet void. I don’t even know what I’m missing. I didn’t get very far in cleaning up the topics. ^.^;; It’s just, I guess, some stuff from when I was 15 or 16. Is it stupid of me for feeling old because I’ve been online for the past 5 years? Ehehe.

Anyway. I keep freaking out about things like … I can’t say that, because the “that” that I would be referring to is the 5 years thing … I need sleep. This is a stupid post. I’m not supposed to make stupid posts on my nice pretty blog anymore. But oh well. Everyone shall hear my lament. Hah.

I keep freaking out about computer stuff and internet stuff. I really shouldn’t be so attached to something that I don’t even understand. (how exactly do you take plastic, metal, and electricity, and make it do all the things a computer does?)

But … I tend to be an emotional packrat. Like, sometimes I’ll wish I’d kept my Valentine’s from grammar school. Do you know how many valentines that was?! Maybe something like 15–30 × five years … silly. When I was a kid, I thought, ‘I can throw these out, I’ll just get more next year.’ Yeah … haven’t gotten a Valentine from a non-family member since … 7th or 8th grade.

ANYWAY! Um.

…I keep worrying that Livejournal might go down, and I’ll never see my entries again. (Going on 3 years now.) Or my Greatestjournal. I worry about GJ more, because no one pays for that, and LJ is more like a business type of thing … well now it is, anyway. *below the belt* haha. I mean … I already had my domain hostserverthingie go bust. They were definitely a business and still went bust. Then again, they were also overselling or whatever that term is. I lost the comments on my last 7 blog entries that time. ;.; (I salvaged the actual entries from the Internet Archive 6 months or a year later.)

That’s it. It’s late. Bah. Stupid. I think I may need a haircut. *random*

older than you’ve ever been…

Monday, 25 April, 2005 at 7:28 pm

Okay, I don’t remember any other instances, but lately I’ve been getting hit with these moments where I go, Whoa, I’m getting older.

Like last Friday (or maybe it was the previous Friday) Mickey was pulling out of the driveway and driving down the street and I just found it so odd that My Brother Owns a Car. A whole, big, huge car. That is many many many times his size and weight. He’s never owned something so big. And he’s in control of it.

That may be odd enough … but I’m sure I’ve had that feeling at least once more.

And … I have a car. I don’t find that as odd for some reason. Maybe because of that whole … this is the oldest I’ve ever been, I can’t remember being older, all my previous memories are from the standpoint of … this is the oldest I’ve ever been.

I’m probably rambling. Oh well.

It’s not like I don’t like not being a kid anymore, or growing old (I hope I’m not that superficial >_>) … I guess it’s just how things change. I don’t go home after school every day anymore and play with my brothers!

I was thinking of Micro Machines either earlier today or over the weekend, also. Micro Machines? I don’t know, these little car things … smaller than Hot Wheels … they also sold these … playsets, or something, when they’re open the cars can drive all over them up in the mountain and down to the gas station, and when they’re closed it was a gasoline can. I forget what the other one was.

Bah! *goes about doing something else*

thoughts on words

Monday, 3 February, 2003 at 5:06 pm

Woooow, I just spent about two and a half hours reading blogs … hm hm hm … ^_^ (Okay so I guess a good portion of that time was spent reading Noelle and SM00’s convo. O_o;;)

So, some thoughts I had. Do people really know me over the internet? If they were to meet me in real life, would I be different? Would they not like that?

I think people know my brain. But I don’t know if they’d like me or not. I don’t think it’s much of a difference, the way I think versus the way I act, just slight.

Mainly I’m thinking about the way I talk online as opposed to in real life. Like, I don’t really say “wow,” for instance (or at least I don’t think so). I don’t say “hm” irl. I wouldn’t say “a good portion.” I guess I’d say “a lot.” I don’t think I’d say “was spent” (I’d say “I was” :x).

The only problem is, those words are in my brain. They are words I use. Just not in normal, vocal conversation. ^_^;; So people know me me, right? But I’m not “me me” in public.

The argument would then be, who is the real me? The person I am around other people, which would be the me “everyone” knows about? Or the person I am alone, when I’ve had time to think and such? Hm. They’re both me. Right. But then, I have two mes? Ooh. People change when they’re around different groups. ^_^ *nodnod* It’s true. I would think.

Wouldn’t the way a person is when he’s alone be the essence of that person, then? I don’t know. I forget what I was thinking now. ^_^;;;

layouts, colors

Saturday, 21 September, 2002 at 4:59 pm

Please come with me
See what I see
Touch the stars for time will not flee

I noticed lately that a lot of my layouts up have black and red. IAT with Michelle Branch, my lj with the bloody splotches, this blog with the reddish CG, and my diary with the “crimson stain.” It’s a rather interesting observation. Isn’t it? I don’t think this has any scary implications, but then again, things are kind of getting to me. :/ Oh, nothing really horrible, I’m still so happy and content with my life. ^_^ Even if I am with SM00 5 days a week. :b I’m kidding.

Hm, in the last month or two … I’ve made eight layouts. Two are grey, four are black with red in it, one is (was, actually) red with black in it, one is rather pnik *rolleyes*, and one was blackish with peppermintiness. Do I even like to make bright layouts? That’s a rather interesting question … 40–46, light layouts leading. ^.^;; But again, I count the nondark layouts as light ones, so drab grey ones would be counted as light layouts. Yeh … I don’t ever use candy colors or anything. :/ Rarely, but that’s when it fits the picture.